A dead guy in a locker works better than a fire alarm for canceling gym class.
Avoid necking with dates who take shortcuts through cemeteries.
Barbie - the natural tool of evil magicians.
Needs should definately be met - as long as it doesn't require ointments the next day.
Post-mortem twitching aside, dead bodies are supposed to stay under their sheets.
The TV is the idiot box; the computer is the "good box".
High School Rule #1: No secrets between people who've shared clothes.
Sometimes,......there really is something under the bed!
You know you're in love when the center of your universe suddenly resembles your worst nightmare, and you'd still meet them under the bleachers.
If you're fated to be the sacrifice virgin, you might as well dress pretty.
Having a vampire for a boyfriend should give new meaning to the phrase "in-laws from Hell."
It's easier to work out your issues with a sledgehammer in your hand.
Open graves and high heels don't mix.
Talking to an empty chair is a sure sign of impending wackydom.
Field trips shouldn't include the local graveyard.
Nothing good lives in the basement.
As Halloween giveaways, toothbrushes definately fall into the "trick" category.
Jealousy and suspicion aren't always bad.
New guys never like old guys.
School + Saturday = A Bad Thing!
Religion is weird.
Never assume you're irreplaceable.
Messing with a Slayer's boyfriend is a surefire way to piss her off.
If sparks start flying, literally, when you kiss, stop kissing.
Closets are erotic zones.
Basements - especially those with suspiciously nonfunctional light switches and large tunnels in the walls, aren't happy places.
A boyfriend who has never seen you by the light of day or one that has never seen you by the light of a romantic full moon - probably bears closer investigation.
Dividing all your acquaintances in "vampire" and "non-vampire" categories really simplifies your life.
Chocolate covers all occasions that usually require a card.
Rocks are good. Stakes are better. For sheer versatility, you just can't beat a sword.
